How to Delegate Things You Hate
Hi, I’m Dr. Tiffany Shelton Mariolle, The Manifesting Psychologist and Founder of modAmbition!
Are you tired of everything falling on your shoulders leaving you feeling frazzled and stressed out?
I want you to listen to this episode to learn how to go from overwhelmed to delegating with confidence.
By the end of this episode, you're going to know how to use delegation so you can clear things up your plate that aren't fulfilling and so that you can focus on those things that light you up.
Time is a resource that I don't think we value enough and it's time to put actions behind our desire to feel free and at peace. And delegation is going to help you do just that.
I've used these strategies in my life to help me learn HOW to delegate and WHAT to delegate. These strategies have helped bring me so much more peace into my life, and I'm hoping that they do the same for you too.
This episode is brought to you by modAmbition.
With modern planners and business accessories, we help ambitious women have it all in style and without the overwhelm.
Visit modAmbition.com to shop our collection of luxury planners, office supplies, and organizational tools designed for chic women with big goals.
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Cheers to having it all!
You don't have to do it all to have it all!
That is the modAmbition mantra and it's certainly the mantra for this episode.
Look, as you guys likely know, I'm a multi passionate entrepreneur. I am a mom and I have many other things on my plate that I'm juggling.
One of the things that I really had to overcome in order to find more peace as I hustle towards my dreams and continue fulfilling all my ambitions was learning how to overcome this scarcity mindset that made me think that I had to do all the things.
I think there was certainly a time in my life where the control freak in me felt like I had to do all the things as a mother, as a wife, as a business owner… and that things would fall apart if I didn't have my hand in every single pot.
But what I've learned over time is that what I really need to focus on and what brings me the most happiness and joy, is focusing on the things that light me up and focusing on the things that bring me closer to my goals.
So, if you listened to last week's episode, I talked about how we can automate all those things that we want to get off our plate. But another essential piece of that puzzle as far as getting things off your plate that don't light you up, is delegation.
Being able to feel supported – to feel like you're not in this alone, is part of success that we don't talk about enough.
We talked about the hustle, we talked about how important it is to grind. But I don't think we have enough conversations that talk about how we're not doing all this by ourselves – especially when you look on social media or on television and you see someone successful… And you’re like… “how is Beyonce doing all these things? How is Kim Kardashian getting off her ass and just working when there's so many other things that you have to take care of in your life?”
And the truth of the matter is support – a team/village is a crucial piece of most people's success that you don't really see in that Instagram picture. You don't hear about the nanny in the reel, telling you to keep pushing despite what you're going through.
But the truth is having that foundation, that support behind you as you continue to go after everything you deserve is imperative to your ability to continue to strive.
So on this episode (and blog), I will talk about how you can begin to incorporate more delegation into your life – or if you're just starting off, some strategies that are going to help you get going on having the support you need to do the things that light you up.
ONE: Determine what lights you up
Values clarification: death bed exercise (what’s most important to you?)
So as we jump into this episode, the first thing I want to talk about is determining what lights you up.
When we talk about delegating, automating and eliminating, it's important to not delegate or automate those things that bring you joy – things that light you up and make you feel like you're alive.
On the other hand, it's also important to consider the things that even though they may not light you up or bring you joy, they are things that bring you closer to your goals and are important to get done.
So we're going to keep those two things in mind when we're deciding what we're going to delegate.
Firstly, determine what lights you up.
I like to do a deep clarification of my own values of what's important to me and what's meaningful to me in order to keep my hand on the pulse of my values.
In my modAmbition planner – which will be launching very soon, I have a whole section in the goal setting workbook (at the beginning of the planner) that helps you clarify your values. So if you're interested in doing that type of work in a deeper way, be sure to sign up for the launch invite for the modAmbition planner that will be launching soon.
But here in this episode, I want to share just a quick little exercise that can help you get started when clarifying your values if you're not sure where to start.
That simple exercise I want to share with you guys is called “The Deathbed Exercise”. Stay with me. I know it sounds a little bit morbid.. but essentially, think about yourself on your last day, about to take your last breath and you're thinking back over your life…
– When you are on your deathbed and you're thinking about your life, what are the things that you want to see that your life was made of?
– What are the most important things at the end of the day or the end of life that you want to look back on and say, “I'm so glad my life was filled with this.” “I'm so glad my life was filled with peace, with family, with spirituality, with achievement…” *insert whatever those values are for you*
– Put yourself in that position and that's going to be a good exercise to help you get started clarifying your values.
And like I said if you wanted to take a deeper dive into my methods of values clarification, be sure to sign up for my planner waitlist signup.modAmbition.com.
Tim Ferris, the author of The 4-Hour Work Week, also has an exercise that's really helpful in getting us started in the delegation process and deciding what's most important.
“Never automate something that can be eliminated, and never delegate something that can be automated or streamlined. Otherwise, you waste someone else's time instead of your own, which now wastes your hard-earned cash.”
So here is the method he prescribes for delegation:
- Decide the top things that are producing most of your positive emotions
- Decide the top things that are producing most of your negative states. This is your not do list
- Try to eliminate or automate these things as much as possible (Listen to episode 16)
- Start by eliminating things that meet this criteria:
- They don’t bring you closer to your vales
- AND they don’t bring you closer to your goals
- Then from your positive list, decide on the lead domino
- “What is the biggest needle mover project, or project that makes the other things unnecessary, irrelevant, or easier?”
TWO: Delegation Strategies
Let me start with a key concept:
Allow yourself to invest in yourself. Remember that time is just as valuable a resource as money.
In fact, time is more valuable because it is NOT RENEWABLE like money in the sense that we can’t get our time back.
– Utilize your village and your people
- Clearly communicate responsibilities to your partner and children that would help you around the house and accept beforehand that they aren’t going to do things like you would. They just won’t. Yes, I am talking to you… the control freak that cringes when you watch your husband load the dishwasher because he is wasting space.
- A nice thing to do is use a schedule or routine for things you need help with like having a family tidy-up session right before bath time. Just put on a cleaning playlist and everybody cleans up “*inserts clean up song – clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up clean up everybody do their share.” Layla is 2.. and she already knows to start picking up when we sing this song.
- Just accept the help sis! Especially in those busy seasons of life like launching a new business or new product, or having a baby. I’m begging you to accept the help!
- Again, you don’t have to do it all to have it all. Let your friend pick up the kids from school. Ask your mom to come over and watch the kids for a couple of hours so you can get some work done. Let your husband jump in and do the meal prep that week. It takes a village, but you gotta use it.
- Hire the help you need around the house.
Whether you commit to a weekly house cleaner or contract out your lawn work, remember time is more valuable than money. So, hire that babysitter, get that task rabbit to put together that Ikea furniture, and spend your time doing other more things that you value.
Delegating in the workplace:
- I want to share an excerpt from an article on meistertask.com:
- Of course, delegating tasks can lighten your workload, but according to Dr. Scott Williams, professor of management at Wright State University, delegating does much more than just get stuff off your plate. For one, the people who work for you will be able to develop new skills and gain knowledge, which prepares them for more responsibility in the future. “Delegation can also be a clear sign that you respect your subordinates’ abilities and that you trust their discretion,” Williams writes. “Employees who feel that they are trusted and respected tend to have a higher level of commitment to their work, their organization, and, especially, their managers.”
- Trust me, I get why it’s hard to delegate in business. You may be nervous to let things go or afraid someone else won’t do things the right way. You think you can do all the things better than anyone else. And for many of us, our work is like our baby.
- But guess what, just like other people are more than qualified to care for our human babies, our work-babies are no different.
- And yes, no one will have the same love and passion for your own work as you do but they don’t have to to get the job done.
- Start with a task audit considering the work we did earlier on deciding what lights you up and what is bringing you closer to your business goals.
- Then decide if you want to expand your team or delegate to a contractor.
- If you are in the corporate setting, this may mean having a serious conversation with leadership about the help that you need so you can focus on moving the needle on what’s most important for your position.
- If you are in business for yourself, this may mean hiring an intern or virtual assistant to start. Or you could hire freelancers from sites like fiverr, upwork, and outsourced.
- And it's important to remember that when you're working with Freelancers and contractors, they are not your employees. They are their own businesses. So, a helpful way to think about it is partnering with another business on shared goals and align your communication knowing that they are your partner, not your employee.
- I would also keep in mind that even though they are not technically working for you and they're not your employees, it's still important to form a relationship with these folks and to be mindful that the relationship plays a key role in the harmony of getting things done.
- For instance any editors, designers, or assistants that I work with, I've always made sure to have a good working relationship with them as a person and to get along on a human level and that just makes everything easier when you're communicating. And when you're up against deadlines, you know that you have that human element and rapport to work more efficiently and more passionately, ultimately.