How to Set Boundaries with Work and Feel Less Overwhelmed
Hi, I’m Dr. Tiffany Shelton Mariolle, The Manifesting Psychologist and Founder of modAmbition!
Tired of work running your life? Or maybe you hear people talk about work-life balance and think “Where they buy that at, Is that on Amazon?”
By the end of this episode, you will know exactly how to set boundaries with work and feel less overwhelmed!
Boundaries are a part of self-compassion that not many people speak about. Boundaries allow us to offer ourselves compassion and in turn have enough in our cup to offer others compassion.
Brene Brown said, “Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”
When I was younger, my mom found it so funny that I would frequently use the phrase “Now you are just gonna do me any kind of way” or “I’m not gonna let you just (fill in the blank with whatever transgression someone was trying to do to me).
And it’s ironic because I’ve always had this fire in me that was not afraid to protect myself. Maybe it was a result of learning lessons from early on that I had the power to protect my light. Whatever the reason, this natural tendency to create boundaries around my peace has served me well and helped me avoid overwhelm in many cases.
As Maya Angelou was quoted as saying, “You see, baby, you have to protect yourself. If you don’t protect yourself, you look like a fool asking somebody else to protect you.”
And boundaries with work are no different. It’s up to you to protect your peace
ONE:
How to cope with feeling unfocused and overwhelmed
Research shows that overwhelm affects the brain in the same way as trauma. And for working moms overwhelm is rampant, with 92% of working moms reporting they feel overwhelmed by work, home, and parenting responsibilities.
I have a free guide that dives deeper into how to tackle overwhelm with 5 easy ways to stop feeling overwhelmed which I will link in the show notes and here:
🔗 Guide to Tackling Overwhelm: 5 Easy Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed:
https://www.tiffanyshelton.com/guide-to-stop-feeling-overwhelmed/
But in this episode I wanted to start with what you can do in the exact moment that you notice that overwhelming feeling
- Deep breathing for anxiety
- Meaning mantra: “Just take things one thing at a time
- Prioritize
And don’t forget to check out my free guide for a deeper dive into helpful tactics to combat overwhelm!
TWO:
How to set boundaries with work
Next, I want to talk to about how to set boundaries at work
When I was getting my Ph.D. there was a time when I was working a very demanding externship while also balancing my coursework and working part-time. Very early on in that experience, I had to learn ways to set boundaries with this job so it was clear I wasn’t available 24/7. Here are some of the ways I have been able to set boundaries with high demand jobs in the past
- Assertive Communication
- Know your rights and job description
- Yes but no
- Pause before saying yes
- Stick to your boundaries
THREE:
How to adjust when things go unplanned
Now I want to talk to you about how to adjust when things go unplanned which certainly will help you feel less overwhelmed.
Mandi Woodruff-Santos, who is @mandimoney on IG, said, “Your success in 2022 will have little to do with resolutions you made and everything to do with how you bounce back when your plans have inevitably gone to sh*t.”
When it comes to work and business, it’s certainly common for things go unexpectedly, I mean hello pandemic!
I’ve certainly had to master this, as my kids are in daycare and there have so many days recently that all my work plans are shot to heck because I get a call from to daycare to pick up my kids because they are sick are they closed due to COVID. Whether it’s daycare or a change in major life plans, here are some helpful ways to adjust in those times where it can feel like you’re out control:
- Work towards accepting the new reality sooner than later
- Be compassionate with yourself but avoid a pity party
- Develop a new plan
- Lean into the silver lining
- God still has your back, you’re not alone